January 2017 - My Site

A-Bomb Monument

A-bomb Monument of the Hiroshima Municipal Girl’s High School

I was on my way to the Peace Memorial in Hiroshima and came across this memorial dedicated to the students who perished from the atomic bomb that was dropped on Hiroshima on August 8, 1945. The students had been helping to demolish a building when the bomb was dropped. All 544 students and eight teachers perished. There were students working in other parts of the city and the school lost a total of 679 people on that day. The girl in the center is holding a box with the formula for nuclear energy, E=MC² as the US army did not allow the use of “A-bomb” so this inscription was chosen. I took this photo in 2015 and there were flowers. Families and relatives are still grieving.

“Grave of the Fireflies”

“Grave of the Fireflies”

Recently, I watched an animated film called “Grave of the Fireflies” (1988) set in Kobe, Japan toward the end of WWII. US bombers drop napalm canister bombs on Japan, bombs that set fires that destroy whole villages and cities. Seita, a 14-year-old teenager, is left to take care of his little sister, Setsuko. Their mother does not make it to the shelter when the air raid sirens go off and she dies in the hospital. Their father is on a Japanese navy ship that is destroyed as the war comes to a close. A distant aunt takes them in, but she begins to resent the expense of taking care of the two children in addition to her daughter and a worker. Even though Seita brings food that they had buried on their property and agrees to allow his aunt to sell his mother’s kimonos, their welcome is soon gone.

Seita and Setsuko leave their aunt’s home and live in an abandoned shelter. There are some beautiful scenes of the fireflies and the children use them to light their shelter. The next day, Setsuko finds that they are all dead and takes great care burying them, imagining her mother’s burial. The story is based on a semiautobiographical book by Nosaka Akiyuki whose sister died of starvation and whose life was shadowed by guilt. He states there were times when he ate first before giving his sister food.

There are many contrasts in the movie such as the innocence of children and the cruelty of adults in times of war. There are peaceful drawings of the countryside in Nishinomiya, where the aunt lives, and bombers in the background. Both children die of starvation. Animation is the right format for this movie as a live-action film would have required depictions of violence and use of special effects. The simplicity of anime makes the message of this incredibly sad story all the more poignant.

Scorsese Movie “Silence”

“Silence”

I had read that Martin Scorsese had been thinking about making this movie for 28 years and his commitment never faltered through funding problems, scheduling conflicts, and legal challenges. Taiwan was chosen as the filming location for its cost effectiveness, the crew worked for minimum pay, and the actors worked for scale. Scorsese’s storied dedication and his own internal search for spirituality has resulted in an outstanding film.

After learning that a priest living in Japan, Father Ferreira, had committed apostasy after being tortured, two priests set out from Macao to find him. The movie is set in mid-17 century Japan and is based on a story of the same name by Shusaku Endo. The two priests witness drownings, a beheading, and cruel deaths as the samurai charged with eradicating Christianity torture the believers. The movie gives no answers but invites introspection and contemplation of the silence that permeates our spiritual lives.

I did not grow up in a religious household, have not experienced spiritual turmoil, and am not an avid moviegoer. In the December of my life, I enjoy old musicals, comedies, and light romance. “Silence” is not a movie for everyone, but I know that it is a masterpiece.

No Tipping in Japan

No Tipping in Japan

In general, there is no tipping necessary in Japan as in many establishments, there is already a ten percent service charge added to the bill. Some workers are offended to be offered a tip because they do their job well and do not feel that a reward is necessary for doing their job. The only exceptions that I’ve noticed are taxi drivers and tour guides. I assume these workers are often offered tips from Americans and their resistance has been worn down. On my first trip to Japan, I wasn’t convinced of this countrywide custom and was not yet fluent in the language of Japanese currency so I opened my hand with some change and the driver took no time in choosing the largest denomination coin I had, a 500 yen coin!

Tour guides are always appreciated for their knowledge of the local history, explanations of the customs, and entertaining anecdotes. I’ve had conversations with fellow Americans and sometimes get clues from passengers as they leave the tour bus. Some guides accept tips and some do not. A tour guide with a wife and son to support would probably accept a tip but a retired person probably would not. In other words, you should never feel obligated to offer a tip in Japan unless there was an extraordinary service that goes above and beyond their ordinary exemplary service. You may be offending someone.

Refuse Refreshments Three Times

Refuse Three Times

When you are offered tea, you are supposed to refuse at least three times before accepting. I learned about this custom the hard way. I am a third generation Japanese American and have lived in Los Angeles most of my life. When this Japanese woman and her husband stopped by, I offered them tea and the woman said, “No, we have to run other errands.” They did not seem to be in much of a hurry to leave so I offered tea again, as I was thirsty myself. She again said, “No, it’s okay.” They finally left but we each felt something was amiss. They didn’t get their tea and I later learned that you offer tea three times, they say no, and you pour them tea after the fourth invitation. How was I supposed to know that?!

I spoke with my friend in Kyoto who confirmed this etiquette. She said that if you are visiting a close friend, you would accept tea when asked, but if you don’t know the person well, you would refuse three times. In Japan, a homogenous society, mothers teach their children manners. Everyone is on the same page, so the couple was offended by my lack of hospitality.

Exchanging Gifts in Japan

Exchanging Gifts

Exchanging gifts is a way of life in Japan and they’ve been doing it for centuries. Evidence the many shops at tourist destinations and the department stores; there are even stores that specialize in gift wrapping. When I was putting together a box to send to my relatives in Japan, I had consulted several acquaintances and one item, lipstick, appealed to me because it would be easy to pack and didn’t weigh much. My relatives had sent me a photo of a special birthday celebration at a spa resort and the men and women were in yukatas and all the women wore lipstick. I asked a salesclerk at a beauty supply store if she knew what colors the Japanese like and she said that they like bright colors. I think I packed about 15 tubes of lipstick in reds, plum, and rouge, some kitchen towels, cookies, and chocolate candy in the box. When I met them in Japan, I realized they must have had a good laugh because no one was wearing lipstick! I did not choose an age appropriate gift as we are all in our late sixties and lipstick is probably used only for special occasions.

Someone recently suggested quality kitchen gadgets such as can openers and peelers. Practical items that are not easy to find in Japan seem to please them. Every summer, I send them American cherries, which are always a big hit. In the end, any thoughtful gift is appreciated. (Business gifts are a whole different category.)

Business Etiquette

Business Cards

Business cards (meishi めいし) are considered extensions of the person and are taken very seriously in Japan. If you are given a business card after the introductions and bowing, accept it with both hands or if inconvenient, with your right hand using your thumb and forefinger. Take time to read it as it will probably be a bilingual card. You may want to ask a question such as the pronunciation of the name. Place it on the table in front of you. Do not write on the card. When the meeting is over, do not put the card in your wallet and in your back pocket as this is interpreted as sitting on the person’s face! Instead, put it in your wallet or better yet, a business card case, and in a pocket above the waist. Your Japanese hosts will remember how you handle this ritual and will appreciate your understanding of a highly meaningful protocol.

Seating

The Japanese have a specific seating hierarchy worked out from samurai times when they sat on floor cushions. In a modern setting, the highest ranking person will be seated at the head of the table furthest away from the door. It is best to wait to be seated by the host rather than go to an empty seat. The internet is a great resource and there are plenty of books written on the subject of Japanese business etiquette.

Saying No

About 30 years ago, when I knew little about Japanese culture, I must have read an article about Japanese business practices and emphasis on team effort rather than individual contributions. The article said something about their reluctance to say no. I think I mentioned it as a fact, “The Japanese never say no,” to a couple of lawyers who stood near my desk, and they laughed. Since then I discovered that the Japanese are so eager to please, they really do try hard not to say no. At a business meeting, a boss may say “I’ll think about it,” and that probably means no.

An acquaintance might suggest meeting for lunch next week but you say, “It’s a pity, but I have an appointment on that day.” This could mean that you have an appointment, or you don’t want to meet him for lunch.