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Meeting Relatives in Japan for the First Time

I met my relatives in Japan for the first time in the spring of 2012 at the height of cherry blossom season. Two of my cousins live in Hiroshima and four cousins live in Miyakonojo, Kagoshima, and Kirishima in Miyazaki prefecture.

I learned that you don’t have to go to a park known for cherry blossom trees to see cherry blossoms as they were everywhere. There were reports replete with maps and reporters on the evening news as the blossoms opened up starting in Kyushu in the south all the way to Hokkaido in the north.  It was hard not to share the excitement and anticipation of the appearance of the beautiful blossoms that fill the country with delicate splendor.

During the season, complimentary cherry blossom tea is served in restaurants. Prolific art and poetry is inspired by the cherry blossom, the unofficial flower of Japan, and email and letters usually contain some mention of the season and status of the blossoms.  They are symbols of the ephemeral quality of life and are revered.  When they fall, they dance off the branches aided by gentle winds and twirl like ballerinas as they brush the ground.

The trip was a life changing event for me because I fell in love with all my relatives, the Japanese people, and the country itself. In Los Angeles, I never knew my aunts and uncles because during World War II after Pearl Harbor, the U.S. government incarcerated all those of Japanese descent, 120,000 people, in concentration camps mainly in western states far removed from the coast.  The U.S. Army did not have any experience in building barracks for families and the women suffered through the humiliation of not having any doors or partitions to the toilets for a time, the food was rationed canned food and government surplus, and there were lines for food, for the toilets, and the laundry.  There was dust all over, and the barracks were so similar that children often could not find their way back home.

My parents, who met and married while at Manzanar, were evacuated from Los Angeles to hastily converted horse stalls at the Santa Anita Race Track where there was no relief from the lingering smell of horse manure. After a few months, my parents were among those who were moved to Manzanar, the first camp.  The meals were served in mess halls at different times and separated by age groups, so the family unit became fractured.  Relatives were sent to different camps.  After the war, there wasn’t much interaction among our relatives and I’ve always felt the absence of an extended family in my life.

One of the saddest offshoots of the war hysteria and hatred of anyone of Japanese ancestry was the rounding up of orphans and foster care children, some as young as six months and with as little as one-eighth ancestry. They were taken from orphanages and homes from San Diego through Alaska, 101 in all, and housed in barracks called the Children’s Village in Manzanar, the only orphanage among the camps.*

I hope to become fluent in Japanese so I can discover my cousins’ journey through the devastation of the country after two atomic bombs and the other bombs that destroyed so much of their country, not to mention the frequent earthquakes, typhoons, volcanic eruptions, and recently the Fukushima nuclear disaster. My cousin was removed from near the window of their home just minutes before the bomb was dropped on Hiroshima; her mother died of leukemia but she and her brother are fortunately in good health.  If I do not master the language, they know they are in my heart, and I know I am in theirs.

*Source: http://articles.latimes.com/1997-03-11/news/mn-37002_1_manzanar-orphans

Four Equals Thirteen

When I visited Little Tokyo while living in Los Angeles, I used to wonder why some of the packages of ceramic bowls were displayed in sets of five instead of the more common sets of four.

A long time ago, a Japanese photographer asked to photograph our family and at that time we were a family of four.  On the day he took our photo, he brought a stuffed animal, making it five.

It wasn’t until recently that I learned that the number 4 is considered unlucky, much like our number 13.  The kanji for four in Japanese and Chinese is pronounced the same as death so the number is avoided whenever possible.  Many buildings do not have a fourth floor, just as many buildings in North America do not have a thirteenth floor.  A few years ago, I read a blog about a man who gave his Japanese host a set of four knives at a culinary convention.  Subsequent meetings were chilly because he had in effect said, “Go kill yourselves, and here are the tools!”

Some Observations about the Japanese

The Japanese respect everyone and everything, and minutiae matters in the rules of etiquette.

The bow is deeply ingrained in Japanese culture. There is grace, art, and geometry involved, some tutorials using 15, 30, and 45 degrees as the angles of a bow to express regard, gratitude, and humility.

Older women dye their hair black. They are also amazingly agile in negotiating steps at train and subway stations.

Several Japanese male office workers have expressed to me their comfort in knowing what to wear to work every day. They wear white shirts and black or navy suits to work.  During the humid summer months, they often wear gray suits.  Simple.

When I first arrived in Tokyo, without thinking or looking around, I stood on the right side of the escalator going up. A young man bumped into me as he was probably trying to catch a train.  I didn’t even notice that everyone was standing on the left side.  I guess since they drive on the left, they stand on the left.  However, my friend says that in Osaka, you stand on the right and pass on the left.

Japanese drivers back into parking spaces.

Taxi cab drivers control the automatic opening and closing of doors, often to the bewilderment of foreign tourists.

Passengers do not use cell phones on trains except to text. They often read manga or other books, all to be respectful of other passengers.  It’s library quiet.

When asked if they speak English, they invariably will say no, mainly because they do not want to make embarrassing mistakes.

On municipal buses, you enter from the rear and pay at the front, exact change only. If you don’t have change, you can use the change machine at the front of the bus.

The Japanese have embraced convenience stores, called conbini.  Family Mart, 7-Eleven, and Lawson are the prominent stores.  Sundries, snacks, bento lunches, fruits, and beverages are available.

Vending machines for coffee and soft drinks are ubiquitous in Japan. You need to stay close to the machines to finish your drinks, as the Japanese consider it rude to walk around with drink in hand.  Receptacles for empty cans and bottles are next to the machine.

If you need to ask for directions, it is best to ask young people as they are more likely to remember the English they learned in school.   Hotel clerks often speak a little English as well as some conbini clerks.  A policeman is also a good source since there is very little crime in Japan and he will have time to help, although he probably won’t speak English.

You’ll notice that women protect their faces from the sun by using hats or umbrellas, and they have beautiful complexions.

Credit cards are not in wide use except when purchasing plane or train tickets and paying hotel bills. The clerk will return your credit card with two hands with a slight bow exhibiting utmost respect.

Face masks are worn by workers who have a cold in consideration of their co-workers.

Many mothers ride granny bikes, bikes with a basket, a seat for the child, and often a place for an umbrella. They are amazingly expert at avoiding collisions with pedestrians and other bicyclists as they run their daily errands.

We say “cheese” when taking photos but the Japanese, especially young people, use the victory sign.  It works!

When we want to communicate “Come here,” we use our hand palm up and move our fingers toward us; the Japanese use their hand palm down.

When the Japanese say “I”, they often tap their index finger on the nose.

Research places on your itinerary on the Internet. You’ll find a plethora of useful information about major tourist sites, restaurants, and things to do and see.  There are also YouTube videos showing you how to buy train and subway tickets and how to use vending machines.  Use hyperdia.com to look up schedules and compare rates.  Print out hotel names and addresses in Japanese in case you need to ask a native speaker for directions.

A Japan Rail Pass is useful and economical if you plan to travel long distances while in Japan. Purchase your Japan Rail exchange voucher prior to departure as you must purchase it outside of Japan.  You can choose 7-, 14-, or 21-day passes that are ordinary (coach) or green (superior class).  After arriving in Japan, you need to go to the JR travel office located in airports and major train stations to exchange the voucher for the pass. The clerk will give you a validated pass with the date you have chosen as your start date, which does not have to be the date of arrival.

Avoid boarding trains at rush hour. The speaker at an East Asian studies seminar I attended said that if you open a newspaper and put it on the floor, he could demonstrate that four people could stand on it, but during rush hour in East Asian countries, the number of people would be seven.  You may have seen video clips of professional people pushers with their gloved hands pushing more people into the train.  This is where the rules of etiquette are abandoned by some men who grope women and petty criminals who pick your pocket or purse.  Many trains have separate cars for women available during rush hour.

You might consider packing slip-on shoes when going to Japan.  When visiting shrines and private homes, you’ll be expected to take off your shoes and change into slippers that are provided. In a home, the washroom is considered an unclean area, so you need to exchange your slippers for the other slippers that are provided in the bathroom.

Don’t forget to carry a handkerchief in your pocket or purse as most public restrooms do not have paper towels. When my friend learned that I was going to Japan, she gave me about six handkerchiefs and I have since received several as gifts.  It is considered an essential accessory.

ATMs are available at airports, train stations, post offices, and convenience stores but be aware that many are not operational 24/7. Most travel articles recommend that you convert some money to yen before travelling to Japan in case you need to purchase small items or a meal and the vendor does not accept credit cards.

Do not overdo the research; leave some things to spontaneity and serendipity, and interacting with the wonderful people of Japan!